(Note: None of the Stories from Wheel Of Faith: Tides are canon and should not be considered as a part of the lore. Thank you for reading.)
The Tavern battle (Written by Potatos)
A battle between multiple planets has been going on for centuries and multiple alliances have been made to ensure some planets safety. Certain planets have designated themselves to take the front lines against invaders and in this scene we find alliance members resting at the only wooden tavern left standing around mountains of rubble from other buildings in the area providing some camouflage from the opposing side.
A skeleton named Calvin Young sits outside of the tavern to keep watch while the other members come up with a plan on how to attack a giant enemy jail house where some powerful members of the alliance are currently held. A dwarf named Saint Cristo, an android named Dan, and an alien named Nomad all talk over a table to figure out the next plan of attack with none of them agreeing on much. “I think attacking it head on would be perfect, no time for all this fancy stuff” said Dan in an irritated tone. “You only think that because for an android you are dumber than the alien here who can’t even speak our language” yelled Cristo who was standing on a stool and looking red in the face mad. “NO GOOD NO GOOD” yelled Nomad as he played with his trusty sword excalibur. “We might as well have a sign saying fresh meat in this tavern, come get it, since you all want to yell so damn loud” said Calvin from outside the tavern. Suddenly Dan walks away from the table and moves towards the bathroom “I am too tired for this, I need a nap, yall can make a plan without me just tell me what we are doing after my nap” said Dan tiredly as he closes the door to the bathroom. “WHY ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP YOU ARE AN ANDROID!!!” Shouted Cristo whose voice shook the entire tavern with his voice. “Oh well it seems your voice was so beautiful it attracted a group of goblins” said Calvin sarcastically.
Cristo and Nomad walk outside to join Calvin and the three of them watch as a Goblin with a glowing bow reaches them with an army of 100 Goblins. “Hello you all look very strong, I am Jacob Davidson and if you bow to me I will make your deaths very swift” Snarled the Goblin that had an off putting look none of the alliance members could figure out. “How about we end you so we can get back to our other tasks at hand” said Cristo as he grabbed his beard and stroked it a few times. “Fine suit yourself, but just know your names will be forgotten” said Jacob as he flipped a finger up causing the army of goblins to sprint towards the group of three. In an instant the three were surrounded by goblins and Cristo started the counter attack first by grabbing his trusty pillow and rushing a group of goblins who let out a laugh right before Cristo hit them into a pile of rubble and turned them into red puddles. Calvin scooped up part of the ground and turned it into a bowling ball which he rolled into a group of goblins that proceeded to all fly through the air when they were hit, Nomad raised excalibur and before he sent a mighty swing down the last word the Goblins heard was “Sorry”. In only a few moments the remaining goblins ran to safety leaving only Jacob left. “So have you realized the only way this can go is with your defeat” said Calvin in the most cocky voice he could come up with. “Hehehe… you're all pretty good, but you know how the saying goes, three is a crowd” said Jacob as he raised his hand to Nomad. Both Calvin and Cristo look over to where Nomad stood and both of their eyes widen as Nomad raises excalibur and pierces himself through the center part of his body. Immediately Nomad falls to the ground only plunging the sword deeper into himself and a pool of blood begins to form around his lifeless corpse. “You… you… WHAT DID YOU DO, WHAT JUST HAPPENED!!!” screamed Cristo as he instantly rushed forward towards Jacob. Jacob raises a hand but when nothing happens his eyes widen as Cristo sends a jaw shattering pillow hit to Jacobs Head. Calvin stands in fear as he watches Cristo beat Jacob Constantly to a pulp and finally after 20 minutes of constant bombardment, Cristo turns to Calvin breathing heavily. “I think… I go-” Suddenly five arrows flew through Cristo and a flame burst out of his chest through the holes made by the arrows. “CRISSSTTTTTTOOOOOOOO!!!” Shouted Calvin who had regathered himself and he grabbed the trident stored on his back. Cristo falls over but when he lands Calvin notices that he is still breathing slowly. Jacob stands up looking almost perfectly fine and then he lifts his hand to Calvin which surprisingly also has no effect. “Why are there so many of us here?” Whispers Jacob who places himself on a tall pile of rubble and he begins shooting constantly into the air. Calvin looks into the now orange sky and orange rain starts to fall. Calvin “Skillfully” dodges the rain which leaves Jacob in utter disbelief. “Maybe this wasn’t a total waste of time” says Jacob as he grabs another arrow and loads it. Suddenly Calvin vanishes from Jacob's sight and Jacob feels thousands of tiny stings all over his body. Holes cover Jacobs entire body and Calvins trident Appears in a hole through the middle of Jacobs Chest. “Hehehe… good one, I think I have some friends that would like to meet you personally” says Jacob as he slides off of Calvins trident and instantly the holes in Jacob begin to close. “Like hell I would ever go anywhere with you!” yelled Calvin as he stood menacingly on the rubble Jacob stood on. “Well I have already signaled for you to meet the boss so you don’t really have a choice” grinned Jacob who began to laugh crazily as a portal appeared behind Calvin and a mysterious Dark hand grabs him by the back and drags him in before he can utter a word. Jacob stops laughing and calls for the remaining goblins to carry the lifeless corpses back with them for extra food and equipment examination.
The portal closes with a thunderous crack which back in the tavern wakes up a well rested Dan. Dan walks out of the bathroom to find the main room empty but everything still intact, when Dan walks outside he uses his processor to try and figure out what had occurred. Dan contemplates what happened and masterfully put together what events he think occurred, “Those guys wanted to throw me a surprise jelly party so they went to go get jelly but when they got the jelly back they were attacked by goblins who made them spill all the jelly so now they have to go journey far out to try and get some more and that is why I can’t detect any of their life signatures, They must want me to go find Jelly because without my help they won’t have enough for a jelly party” squealed Dan excitedly. Dan sets off quickly in a random direction to try and locate jelly but Dan will never find the jelly, only more sorrow and war await Dan, for the tides are ever changing.